jangan ngibul di hari senen
October 1, 2007 , 10:50 amSetiap hari Senin, gue diajar ama Eep SF, pengamat politik beken yang tulisan-tulisannya sering gue baca di Kompas halaman depan. Kuliah ini materinya asoi banget, gaya ngajarnya asik pula (dia pake Machintos item yang seksi abis buat presentasi), dapet dosen selebritis kayak gini adalah salah satu untungnya kuliah di UI.
Hari Senin minggu lalu, entah kenapa gue lagi gak mood kuliah. Kelas berakhir masih setengah jam lagi, dan gue dari tadi duduk cuman gambar-gambar aja di kertas. Saking bosennya, gue memutuskan untuk minta izin pulang cepet. Nah, yang jadi masalah tinggal izinnya aja. Kalo gue bilang, “Sori Mas Eep, saya lagi bosen.†Bisa-bisa gue gak lulus. Ato kalo gue bilang, “Mas Eep, saya mo Eekâ€Â. Nanti dikira menghina namanya dia. Gue memutar otak, dan baru inget kalo tante gue baru aja ngelahirin. Aha, alasan yang bagus. Gue bilang aja gue mau dateng ke melahirkannya tante gue.
Gue duduk di bangku, Mas Eep bertanya ke kelas..
Mas Eep: Ada yang mo bertanya?
Gue: *Mengacungkan tangan*
Mas Eep: Ya?
Gue lalu maju ke depan. Mas Eep terlihat kaget.
Mas Eep: Kenapa?
Gue: *berbisik* Mas, saya minta izin. Tante saya melahirkan.
Mas Eep: *tidak mendengar* Apa? Maaf?
Gue: *berbisik sambil menutup mulut* Melahirkan, tante saya. Saya minta izin.
Mas Eep: AH! OKE OKE OKE!
Mas Eep tiba-tiba merangkul pundak gue dan berkata..
Mas Eep: Terimakasih ya sudah datang.
Gue: *kagok* Uh, uh. Iya mas.
Gue yang sampe ditepok pundaknya gitu cuman bengong. Gila, baik banget dosen ini. Gue minta izin keluar cepet aja sampe ditepok-tepok segala. Ck ck ck. Emang, kelas dosen selebritis memang beda. Gue jadi ngerasa respek banget sama Mas Eep, sekaligus gak enak udah ngeboongin dia. Pengen rasanya tereak, “Engga deng Mas Eep, saya sebenernya mo Eek.†Tapi gak jadi. Gue keluar kelas, sebelom keluar kelas gue ngeliat ke dalam, Mas Eep lagi diem aja sambil nunduk.
Keesokan harinya..
Gue masuk ke kelas, dan tiba-tiba ada seorang temen sekelas yang gue gak kenal nyalamin gue, “EH KATANYA ISTRINYA MELAHIRKAN YA? SELAMET YA!â€Â
Gue bengong.
Gue: HEH? Istri gue melahirkan?
Dia: Lho? Istri lo gak melahirkan?
Gue: BUSET. Temen beranak aja gak punya. Kok lo bisa bilang gitu?!
Dia: Lah, si Mas Eep, begitu lo keluar ruangan kemaren dia bilang ke seisi kelas. Katanya, kita harus mendoakan teman kalian yang barusan, karena istrinya baru saja melahirkan anak pertama.
Gue: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAH?! SUMPAH LO?
Dia: *ngakak* Jadi lo belom punya anak?
Gue: ANJRIT YA GAK LAH!
Dia: pasaran lo turun banget dong. Hahahaha.
Gue: Mending kalo pasaran gue turun. Kalo gue disangka punya anak haram kan repot.
Mas, lulusin saya ya.. kan udah beranak!
Begitu pulang, gue dateng ke temen-temen gue yang lain, eh bener aja.. mereka cerita ternyata begitu gue keluar kelas, Mas Eep mengajak anak-anak satu kelas untuk mendoakan ISTRI DAN ANAK PERTAMA GUE. Ya ampun, Mas Eep kok jadi salah denger gini. Pantesan aja dia sampe nepok pundak gue, dia pasti mikir, “Gila nih mahasiswa gue, istrinya melahirkan tapi sempet-sempetnya ikut kuliah gue. Keren juga gue.†Anjriiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
Parahnya, dua hari kemudian Si Pacar dapet SMS dari seseorang. Isinya, “Gue denger gosip di FISIP (Fakultas Ilmu Sosial dan Ilmu Politik) katanya istrinya Raditya Dika melahirkan. Itu elo?â€Â
Buset.
Nah, nanti malem gue ada kelasnya Mas Eep. Gue harus ngomong apa ke dia? Kalo gue bilang itu bukan tante gue yang beranak, ntar dia kira gue boong tentang semuanya. Kalo ditanya sama dia, “Anaknya gimana?†Gue harus siap punya jawaban dan gak sekadar jawab ngasal karena panik.. “Eh.. eh. uhhhh. ternyata mirip tetangga tuh mas!â€Â. Gue panik, takut ditanya macem-macem kayak misalnya beratnya berapa (jawaban yang gue siapin adalah 3,1 kilogram), ato panjangnya berapa (ini gue bisa jawab 48 senti), ato namanya siapa (kalo cowok Radith junior, kalo cewek Julia Perez Junior) tapi tapi tapi kalo ada pertanyaan jebakan yang lain gimana?
Duh, masih ada 8,5 jam lagi sebelom kelasnya dia.
Ngaku.. engga.. ngaku.. engga..
August 1st, 2008 at 10:57 pm
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June 27th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Wah, kalo bneran punya anak seru nih….
Tapi jangan disuruh makan kakus, ya….
May 25th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Nih orang!Kalo dosenya baca gimanaaaa…. Gitu?
Namanya juga FISIP fakultas ilmu santet dan ilmu perdukunan
May 25th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Nih orang!Kalo dosenya baca gimanaaaa…. Gitu?
May 16th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
[…] gimana yah, rasanya saya jadi bosen aja gitu. apa bedanya dong sama yang ada di blog? oh iya, di buku ini juga ada salah satu cerita yang diambil dari salah satu postingannya. […]
April 9th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
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brarti klu hr RABU BLEH DUNK KA
March 24th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well.
March 15th, 2008 at 8:05 am
ahahaha.. gw juga anak fisip ui, dan kbetulan diajar mas eep saefullo fatah kalo hr senen,, kelas spi (sistem politik indonesia).
dia emang TOP abis!!! PARAAAHHHH BAIIKKKK BGT!!!!
dia motivasi gw dtg ke kampus kalo hr senen!!
dnger critalo gw jd makin cinta dosen gw satu inii!! aahahahaha!!
February 18th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
ni orang mang CADAS !!!!!!!!!!!!
eeeeeeeeeeeee….
speechless gw……………..
February 8th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
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February 2nd, 2008 at 3:55 pm
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December 25th, 2007 at 8:30 am
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December 24th, 2007 at 9:29 am
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December 21st, 2007 at 3:52 pm
radja
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December 4th, 2007 at 9:42 am
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December 4th, 2007 at 5:31 am
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huahuahua………
December 4th, 2007 at 4:46 am
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December 1st, 2007 at 2:54 pm
akhirnya TITIT junior lahir juga…